Places I’ve been in Central America: Belize, Costa Rica, and Mexico.
Places I like in Central America: Belize and Costa Rica.
Let’s be clear: I’ve only been in Cancun, Cozumel, Playa del Carmen, and Tulum in Mexico. The Yucatan Peninsula has Spring Break on lock. From amusement parks to resorts to Instagram-worthy restaurants, it’s the equivalent of Orlando, and Orlando is the butthole of America. Since my blog is always talking shit about places anyway (right, Lindsey?), I thought, “Why not shit on Tulum?”
I was imaging Tulum to be similar to Bali, which has an incredible yoga scene, stunning beaches, and off-the-charts culture. Instead of Bali, I got Miami in the jungle. The restaurants are posh and over-priced (Azulik, I'm talking to you!), the cenotes have morphed into commercial swimming pools, and the wannabe Instagram models are out in droves. #basicbitchheaven #tulumtribe #hashtag
Is this IG worthy? Did I nail it?
What other reason is there to paint wings on a building than for Instagram? (I made him do this.)
There were some cool experiences, like the whale sharks with Marco (Thanks, Keri), the boutique hotels (Thanks, Heather), and the less-famous cenotes. But, come on! With outrageously-priced yoga classes and jungle gyms, full moon parties with girls wearing stiletto heels ON THE SAND, and cocktail dresses as the preferred attire for standing in line for ice cream, Tulum is BEGGING to be the next Miami.
Tulum has a vibe. It's just not MY vibe. I don't belong in Tulum. It is NOTHING like Bali, which remains my favorite island, beach destination, and yoga place in the world. (I love you, Bali, and miss you every day!)
In comparison, Belize really is un-Belize-able. Having gained independence in 1981, Belize is on its’ infancy of tourism. Meaning, it hasn’t been commercialized… yet. There is not one single McDonald’s anywhere in sight. American fast food chains aren’t allowed in the country. AT ALL! Plus, there are no main hotel chains. Marriott and Hilton don’t exist here. That’s unbelizeable to me. Get it? Ok, I’ll stop.
If you do have to stay on the mainland, check out Altun Ha, but only if it's a no-cruiseship-day.
The mainland is not where you want to stay though. As soon as you land, head over to Ambergris Caye (pronounced “key”), then onto Caye Caulker.
San Pedro is in the heart of Ambergris Caye and right by the airstrip where the puddle jumpers (Tropic Air and Maya Island) connect to the mainland.
Stay a night or two here. Rent a golf cart like the locals. Snorkel with the manatees.
Belize is a HUGE dive area. Personally, I'm not into scuba, but if you dive, this place is supposedly incredible.
Then, take the Belize Water Express taxi over to Caye Caulker. You can walk this entire island in 25 minutes. Eat BBQ off the side of the road, have lizard juice at the Sip n Dip, and relax. You’ll meet everyone on the island within the first couple hours, so it’s like hanging at your personal beach with friends.
The owner of this place served us, then hung out with us while we ate.
The owner of this place grilled whatever you wanted. If he didn't have it, he'd go catch it.
If you can't relax in Caye Caulker, you can't relax.
It makes me a little sad to share this place since I know it will become too commercial one of these days - like Tulum has become. But until then, you need to see it to Belize it for yourself.
As always, this is my opinion on my experiences. I've already heard I'm a lunatic for dissing Tulum. But alas, this isn't a required reading.