'Merica. Land of the free, home of the brave, greatest country in the world. AMIRITE? As patriotic as some of our citizens can be, there's some weird shit we do that other cultures just don't get - like owning guns. (This isn't a gun debate, so don't go there.)
There are other idiosyncrasies about living in America that I'm not aware of because they've been engrained in me since birth. But, Thailand is on a whole different level of nonsense. These are the top 10 weirdest things I've learned so far...
- No haircuts on Wednesdays. That's right. It's Wednesday. So, no.
- No alcohol purchases between 2 PM - 5 PM. There are no "holy days" like Sundays in the bible-belt where you can't buy alcohol at all. Just can't buy alcohol between 2 PM - 5 PM, daily. Because, logic.
- Squat Toilets. No need to cover this shit again. Yes, pun intended.
- Ladyboys. Like, when did this become a thing? How did it become a thing? Who made it a thing? Where did it start? What is the point?
Such a beautiful... Dude?
- Ghosts. Thais are extremely superstitious and super afraid of ghosts. They can't even watch ghosts on a television screen without freaking out or hiding. I mean, if this was a realistic fear (like a fear of spiders), then I guess I could understand.
- Take off your shoes when walking into someone's house. Always.
- Don't touch someone's head. Don't point at someone. Don't show someone the bottom of your feet. Any of those actions is like saying "F YOU!" and is incredibly disrespectful.
- Do not insult the King or Royal Family in anyway. It's illegal, and you can be arrested.
- Plastic on plastic on plastic. If you're going to drink out of a water bottle, obviously, you need to do so with a straw that is wrapped in plastic. And if you buy a water bottle, obviously, it needs to be placed into a plastic bag. Pollution? What's that? Recycling? Never heard of it.
- But, will you find a trashcan on the side of the road, so you can throw something away? Absolutely not. Thailand doesn't have trash cans. But, surprisingly, there is not a lot of litter on the streets, which makes perfect sense.
Plastic on plastic on plastic.
- Kids draw in anime. I guess this shouldn't be too weird. American kids draw what they see on TV, like Spongebob. So, Thai kids draw anime.
I think this is supposed to be me?! Kids give me anime drawings all the time. No clue what the words say.
When I ask who, what, when, where, or why some of these things exist, no one can tell me. Because in Thailand, no rhyme or reason is needed. Ever. But, it's all "Mai Pan Rai." Always. So, whatever.
Mai Pan Rai = No Worries