When I left Chiang Mai for Kamphaeng Phet (KPP), I moved straight into an apartment where most of the other teachers lived. It was great; I had "Western" world comforts: normal toilet, shower, kitchen, air conditioning, TV, you name it. But, it came at a price. It was expensive (relatively, of course). So, some teachers and I decided to rent a house. Ummm, not sure what I was thinking? Perhaps I was consuming copious amounts of Ya Ba when I decided to give up the luxuries of the Western world? It's quite the... adjustment? Downgrade? Bad decision? All of the above?
Here's what I mean:
- Beds on the floor. Thai people sleep on the floor, primarily. Box springs, bed frames, and comfortable mattresses don't exist. We were lucky to get mattresses at all. But, we're renting our house from a Thai teacher at our school. So they provided the necessities (fridge and bed). As most of you are aware, I'm the biggest arachnophobic I know. So, a bed on the floor just won't work for me. On the first night at the new crib, I knew spiders were waiting to crawl right over my face on their journey across the floor to kill me. Purchasing a bed frame was priority numero uno. Plus, ol' girl's got bad knees. Crawling around on the floor to get in and out of "bed" just ain't gonna work.
Move-in day.
Day #2.
I might miss my bed in America more than my dog.
- Self flush toilets. Yeah... About that. The saying, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone" couldn't be truer. Once again, the self-flush boggles the mind. There's clearly plumbing in the bathroom. Why a flushing toilet isn't the norm is nonsense. The only positive thing I can say is that at least it isn't a squat toilet.
I never knew I could have such strong feelings for a toilet.
Water from the right goes into the bowl. Why have a flushing toilet when there's already plumbing in the bathroom, and you can manually do it?
- Geckos for roommates. I have two human roommates and a few thousand gecko roommates. They come out at night and eat other bugs. It's like camping. Good thing I grew up redneck, or I might have an issue with lizards staring at me while I sleep.
Hey, roomie.
Oh, you need a shower too?
- No lease. We pay rent in cash directly to the landlord / teacher. Instead of having a lease of any kind, we take pictures of our cash exchange. Basically, a drug deal but for housing.
Gotta pay for that stash... I mean, rent. Same same.
- Kitchen is outside. Thai food has strong smells (think curry), so kitchens are outside to keep the smell out of the main living area. I'm not a cook. My cooking in the states consisted of opening cans of tuna and heating up frozen vegetables. But, if I want Western food in KPP, I have to cook it. So, this set-up simply does not work.
Since when would this ever constitute as a kitchen?
As an added bonus, this area is a cesspool for mosquitos. As someone who gets destroyed my mosquitos no matter where I am in the world, I can't even go to the "kitchen" without being soaked in bug spray.
Speaking of mosquitos, WTF is the purpose of a mosquito anyway? All they do is spread diseases like Malaria and Dengue fever. Why hasn't someone invented something to make them die? We can cure cancer, but we can't kill off an annoying species that transfers diseases for it's own livelihood? Could someone please kill those M*&^$% F@#*&^$ already? There is almost nothing I hate more than a F$%^&@# mosquito!!!!!!!!!! Alas... I digress.
This is true Thai living. No one can say I'm not getting the 100% authentic Thai experience - minus the squat toilets being in the house. This is the most Thai I can get unless I move to a village and harvest rice for a few months, which isn't happening.
Do I like it? Eh. I'm getting used to it. It's nothing like living in a Western-type apartment, and it's definitely an adjustment to how I lived in the states. But, I got two awesome roommates out of the deal, so I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world... except my heavenly bed, a kitchen indoors, a flushing toilet, and a mosquito free living space. Kidding. Ish.
I love love.